知道什么是你的价值,什么对你很重要

知道什么是你的价值,什么对你很重要

生活就是选择。 但要选择好,
你必须知道你是谁
和你的立场。 -
科菲·安南

如何你觉得什么是你的价值决定的。 即使您选择做一些令人不愉快的感觉,如果你仔细检查的情况,你会看到你的选择可能从你的求生欲望按照你的价值观造成的。 例如,如果你看你最好的朋友在一个业余的喜剧小时的表演,你可以这样做不是因为你觉得笑料将是很好的,你会乐在其中 - 他们可能是痛苦糟糕 - 但因为是好朋友的感觉好过被别人谁自私友谊推卸的职责。 保持良好的友谊是非常高的茁壮成长价值的活动。

值只是你的理想,你的什么对你很重要,什么会让你的生活也可以是最好的信仰。 虽然每个人都有不同的价值观,每个人价值观,他们认为将促进其茁壮成长的能力的事情。 虽然我们指定一个值,我们所接触到的一切 - 我喜欢这个比这更好 - 我们倾向于认为我们的价值是我们最亲爱的举行给我们什么使我们的生活意义的事情。

你们认为值得吗?

我们的价值是由内在因素和个人因素,大多数人认为的性状或品质,如诚实,爱和尊重,以及外部,apersonal因素,如健康,乐趣和冒险。 值基本上是你值得考虑的事情。 当没有足够你在你的生命值,你可能会觉得心疼还是喜欢你的生活质量很差。 在你的生活增加这些东​​西的存在将极大地促进您的福祉。

你的价值观是不是你已经取得的成就列表; 相反,他们是你渴望什么样的列表。 它们在你如何建立你的未来,因为它们代表了你最优先和最深切的驱动力大的作用。 知道你的价值和最重要的事情你会帮助你确定你想要什么,做最好的选择,你指出正确的方向。

你的价值观是由您的经验形成的。 它们是由你的父母和家庭,你的宗教信仰,你的朋友和同事,你的教育,你读的书,你的社会,更影响。 无论你是否意识到它们,它们影响你生活的各个方面,包括工作,爱情,玩,精神和身体安康。 你证明你完成所有你的行动看重的是什么。 你用你的价值做出决策和管理的优先事项。 你建立你的目标和你的价值得到你的人生目标。

你的价值观和行为之间的差距,会导致痛苦。 如果你看重开放的沟通但有困难的时候说你的合作伙伴,这种情况会不会觉得对你很好。 知道你的价值可以帮助您确定遇险来源,并开始评估解决方案。

当你拥有的最重要的事情给大家一个清晰的感觉,很容易知道在哪里可以引导你的能量。 每天有事情可以做,选择,你可以无限多。 不知道你的价值,很容易分心,四处流浪使得不会导致你在任何地方的决策。 当你知道什么是对你最重要,你的决策变得更加清晰和方便。 当您在选择的方式和行动与您的价值观,你会觉得内部的走线和幸福感更强。

确定什么你的价值

在您开始的路径映射出更大的幸福,你需要知道你在哪里开始。 要做到这一点,最好的办法是检查你的价值。

请记住,值通常是不具体的事情,但品质或理想化的状态。 当你开始确定你的价值,如果 我看重的红色跑车 comes to mind, for example, ask yourself why. What is it about red sports cars that you like? How do they make you feel? It is easy to make the mistake of thinking it is a thing we value because of the meaning we have assigned to it. Most things by themselves, though, are meaningless objects, just as money by itself is nothing more than paper with ink on it; we have assigned numeric value to it, which allows us to exchange it for things we want.

Knowing what quality you value in something can help open up other possibilities when you can’t have that specific thing. For example, if you want to go to Harvard but don’t get in, knowing that you want to go there because you value a good education will open up the possibility of considering other schools where you can still receive a quality education. If are what pop into your mind as you begin to create your list of values, keep asking yourself why you value those things until you come up with 气质 that you connect with these things that you would like to have in your life.

Worksheet: Rank Your Values

Below is a list of common qualities or states that people value. It is not an exhaustive list, so if you think of others, please write them down on a blank sheet of paper. Review the list, then rank, in order of importance, the top five values in each area of your life. You should choose five values, ranked 1 through 5, for each area. There may be many values you consider important that do not get ranked because they are not in the top five.

工作 灵性 Physical Well-Being
成就          
冒险          
Calm/peace          
挑战          
合作          
同情          
权限          
竞争          
勇气          
创造力          
可靠性          
尊严          
Discipline/order          
卓越          
公平          
灵活性          
友好          
Fun/enjoyment          
慷慨          
Getting along/harmony          
健康          
帮助他人          
诚实          
独立          
个性          
革新          
Intellectual stimulation          
忠诚          
开放式通信          
坚持          
尊重          
责任          
安全          
智慧          

Worksheet 7.1 Think Forward to Thrive © 2014 by Jennice Vilhauer, PhD

You can hold many values in life, and you will likely have different values for the various areas of your life, such as work, love, and play. You may value independence at work but not in love. Knowing what you value in the different areas of life will help you choose how to focus your time, thoughts, and energy as you begin to build the life you desire.

Values also tend to have a hierarchy, and knowing clearly what values are most important to us can help us make good choices in our day-to-day life. For example, you may value enjoying delicious food but also value your health. When you are given the choice of eating chocolate cake or a spinach salad, you might remind yourself how much you want to be healthy and to meet your weight-loss goal. When you are clear about which values matter most to you and you are focusing on them regularly, they become more accessible to you, making your decisions much easier.

Next, define these values so they aren’t just words on a page. Create language to capture the spirit of each value — what does it mean to you? For example, if independence is your top value in the area of work, you might define it as Being able to work on my own without much supervision or interference from others. Now ask yourself why this value is important to you. Be as specific as you can. This will help you to develop a sense of your worldview. Once you have defined a value and identified why it is important to you, review what you have written, and ask yourself: What types of actions represent this value? Write these actions down; these are the things you can do to start living in accordance with your values.

Creating a Values Statement

Having defined the core values in the various areas of your life, you can now put them together into a values statement that represents how you want to lead your life and behave in the world. Values statements are assertions about how you value yourself, other people, your community, and the world. Values statements describe actions, which are the living enactment of the fundamental values you hold.

To begin writing your values statement, review your list and look for themes. You may notice that you carry certain values consistently across all five areas, such as “helping others.” Incorporate in your statement the name of each value you’re including, the reasons you hold these values, and any actions or feelings that capture the value’s meaning to you. It isn’t necessary to use everything you wrote in your worksheet, only the things that really resonate with you.

Frame each sentence in the present tense, since these are aspirational statements based on what you value now and what you aspire to. As you encounter new experiences, your values will change; you can always modify the statement later.

Remember, the statement does not need to reflect what you are currently doing in your life but rather what you currently value. Here’s an example:

My Values Statement

I value the ability to live independently and the freedom to express myself creatively so that I can always produce my best work and live to my full potential. I value choosing activities that bring calm and relaxation into my life so that I rejuvenate and care for myself. I make the effort to openly and fearlessly commu­nicate with others because I value close and strong relationships.

Tips for Thriving

What we value most is the ability to thrive, which always comes with a good feeling.

Things themselves have little meaning unless they help us to thrive. Know what qualities you value in the things you desire so that you can open up other possibilities for ways to experience those values.

Your values determine how you feel about everything. Knowing what you truly value can help guide you in the decisions you make about what you want and the goals you set for yourself.

Increasing the presence of what you value will promote your sense of well-being.

Use what you value to inform your choices, deter yourself from distractions, and better allocate your resources.

Don't limit yourself by believing that only one thing can make you feel a certain way. There are lots of ways to thrive, so be open to possibilities.

©2014 by Jennice Vilhauer. All Rights Reserved.
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Think Forward to Thrive: How to Use the Mind's Power of Anticipation to Transcend Your Past and Transform Your Life by Jennice Vilhauer, PhD.文章来源:

Think Forward to Thrive: How to Use the Mind's Power of Anticipation to Transcend Your Past and Transform Your Life
by Jennice Vilhauer, PhD.

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作者简介

Jennice Vilhauer, PhD., author of: Think Forward to ThriveJennice S. Vilhauer is an award winning psychologist at Emory University and the developer of Future Directed Therapy. She has helped thousands of people overcome their depression and reengage their vitality for life by teaching them how to harness the mind's power of anticipation to overcome negative past experiences and develop the skills necessary to create a better future. She is currently the Director of the Outpatient Psychotherapy Program at Emory Healthcare, and has worked at numerous prestigious institutions around the country including Columbia University, UCLA, and Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Visit her website atwww.futuredirectedtherapy.com

手表的采访: CBS news - Future Directed Therapy (FDT)