Finding Joy In These Current Times?在当前时代找到喜悦? Why It's Not Such An Absurd Idea, Really为什么这不是一个荒谬的想法

Finding Joy In These Current Times?在当前时代找到喜悦? Why It's Not Such An Absurd Idea, Really为什么这不是一个荒谬的想法
即使在最紧张的时刻,也不需要玫瑰色的眼镜就能找到快乐。
地中海/ Via Getty Images

值得纪念的是2020年-实际上,对于很多人来说, 一场噩梦。 该 流感大流行, 随着 政治动荡社会动荡给许多人带来了焦虑,伤心欲绝,义愤填and和不和。

在这种痛苦中,人们需要一些快乐。

作为一个 研究欢乐角色的学者 在日常生活中,我相信在痛苦中快乐是不可思议的强大伴侣。

在葬礼上讲话,教乐

2016年底,在我被聘请到耶鲁大学研究欢乐的团队不到一年后,我的三个家人意外地在四个星期内死亡:我堂兄的丈夫达斯汀在30岁时自杀身亡,姐姐的儿子梅森在22岁时自杀身亡。多年使用阿片类药物后,心脏骤停和我的父亲戴维(David)才70岁。

While researching joy, I was speaking at funerals.在研究欢乐时,我在葬礼上讲话。 At times, even reading about joy felt so absurd that I almost vowed to be anything but joyful.有时,即使阅读有关喜悦的信息也是如此荒谬,以至于我几乎发誓除了喜悦之外,什么都没有。

在2020年,许多人都可以与此相关。

我想清楚一点: 欢乐与幸福不同。 Happiness tends to be the pleasurable幸福往往是快乐的 感觉我们从生活顺利的感觉中得到.


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Joy, on the other hand, has a mysterious capacity to be felt alongside sorrow and even – sometimes, most especially – in the midst of suffering.另一方面,喜悦具有与悲伤同时甚至在痛苦中有时甚至是特别是悲伤中感受到的神秘能力。 This is because joy is what we feel deep in our bones when we realize and feel connected to others – and to what is genuinely good, beautiful and meaningful – which is possible even in pain.这是因为,当我们意识到并感觉与他人(以及真正善良,美丽和有意义的事物)之间的联系时,我们就会深深地感受到喜悦。即使在痛苦中,也是如此。 Whereas happiness is generally the effect of evaluating our circumstances and being satisfied with our lives, joy does not depend on good circumstances.幸福通常是评估我们的处境并满足我们的生活的效果,而快乐并不取决于良好的处境。

照明

A couple of days after my cousin's husband died, a small group of family members and I were shopping for funeral items when the group decided to go to the place where Dustin had died by suicide.我堂兄的丈夫去世几天后,当我决定去达斯汀因自杀而去世的地方时,我和一小撮家庭成员在买葬礼。 It was getting dark and the sun had almost set.天快黑了,太阳快要落山了。

As we were taking in the landscape we suddenly noticed a star above the trees.当我们在欣赏风景时,突然发现树木上方有一颗星星。 Standing next to one another in a line, we looked across the sky and one of us asked whether any other stars could be seen.我们排成一行,站在天空中望去,我们中的一个人问是否还能看到其他恒星。 There were none.没有。 We realized that there was just this one exceedingly bright shining star in the sky.我们意识到,天空中只有一颗极其耀眼的恒星。

Gazing at the star, we felt as if Dustin had met us there, that he'd allowed that single star to be seen in the sky so that we would know he was all right.注视着这颗恒星,我们感觉好像达斯汀在那儿遇见了我们,他允许他在天空中看到那颗单星,以便我们知道他没事。 It was not the kind of relief we wanted for him.这不是我们想要给他的那种解脱。 But for a few minutes we allowed the tragedy of what had occurred in this very space, just two days before, to hang in the background, and we instead focused on the star.但是有几分钟,我们让仅仅两天前在这个空间发生的悲剧笼罩在背景中,而我们专注于恒星。 We were filled with a kind of transformative, quiet joy.我们充满了一种变革性的宁静的喜悦。 And we all gave ourselves over to this moment.我们大家都献给了这一刻。

As 学者亚当·波特凯 在他2007年的书中提到“欢乐的故事”,“欢乐就是一种照明”,这是一种超越其他事物的能力。

同样, Nel点头,斯坦福大学教授,2013年著作“关怀”将快乐描述为一种“伴随着我们的亲密关系而实现的感觉”。 What Noddings meant by relatedness was the special feeling we get from caring about other people or ideas.点头的关联性意味着我们从关心他人或想法中获得的特殊感觉。

欢乐也是一种感觉,它是由与他人的亲戚关系,我们正在做的事与我们的价值观之间的和谐,或者看到的行为,地点,谈话甚至是无生命的事物的意义中产生的。

When I teach about joy, I use an example from my family to explain this.当我讲讲欢乐时,我用家人的例子来解释这一点。 When my sister looks at a Mason jar now – whether in someone's hand filled with tea or bursting with flowers on a friend's coffee table – it reminds her of her son Mason.当我姐姐现在看着梅森罐子时,无论是手里拿着茶还是在朋友的咖啡桌上盛开着鲜花,都使她想起了儿子梅森。 It is not just an object she is seeing, but a relationship imbued with beauty, goodness and meaning.她不仅看到的是一个对象,而且还充满了美丽,善良和意义。 It gives her a feeling that can be described only as joy.它给了她一种只能描述为喜悦的感觉。

We cannot put joy on our to-do lists;我们不能在待办事项清单上高兴; it does not work that way.它不能那样工作。 But there are ways we can prepare ourselves for joy.但是,我们可以通过多种方式为喜悦做准备。 There are “gateways” to joy that help us to become more open to it.有通往快乐的“门户”,可以帮助我们变得更加开放。

Gratitude involves bringing to mind the good that is in the world, which makes rejoicing possible.感恩牵涉到世界上的美好事物,这使欢乐成为可能。 The feeling that follows contemplating nature or art that we find inspiring is often joy, as these are experiences that help people feel connected to something beyond themselves, whether to the natural world or to others' feelings or experiences.在思考自然或艺术之后,我们会激发灵感,这种感觉通常是快乐,因为这些体验可以帮助人们感到与自己以外的事物的联系,无论是与自然世界还是他人的感受或经历。 Since “hope,” as由于“希望” 神学家尤尔根·莫尔特曼(JürgenMoltmann) 曾经说过,这是“对快乐的期待”,写出希望可以帮助我们期待快乐。

三种欢乐

在我的书中,“欢乐的重力”,我确定了即使在当今动荡的时代也可以表达的多种喜悦。

Retrospective joy comes in vividly recalling a previous experience of unspeakable joy.回顾性的欢乐生动地让人回想起以前难以言喻的欢乐。 For example, we can imagine in our minds an occasion when we helped someone else, or someone unexpectedly helped us, a time we felt deeply loved … the moment we saw our child for the first time.例如,我们可以在脑海中想象某个时候,我们帮助了别人,或者某人意外地帮助了我们,这个时候我们深深地被爱着……第一次见到孩子的那一刻。 We can close our eyes and meditate on the memory, even walk through the details with someone else or in a journal and, often, experience that joy again, sometimes even more acutely.我们可以闭上眼睛,沉思在记忆中,甚至可以与其他人或在日记本中浏览细节,常常会再次体验到这种快乐,有时甚至会更加敏锐。

There is a kind of joy, too, that is redemptive, restorative – resurrection joy.也有一种喜乐,那就是救赎的,恢复性的–复活的喜乐。 It is the feeling that follows things that are broken getting repaired, things that we thought were dead coming back to life.这种感觉跟随着破碎的东西得到修复,我们认为已经死了的东西复活了。 This kind of joy can be found in apologizing to someone we have hurt, or the feeling that follows recommitting ourselves to sobriety, a marriage or a dream we feel called to.这种快乐可以在向我们受到伤害的人道歉,或者是重新陷入清醒,婚姻或我们梦we以求的感觉中找到。

Futuristic joy comes from rejoicing that we will again glimpse meaning, beauty or goodness, and seemingly against all odds feel that they are connected to our very life.未来的快乐来自于欢乐,我们将再次瞥见含义,美丽或善良,并且似乎在种种困难中感觉它们与我们的生活息息相关。 This type of joy can be found, for example, through singing in a religious service, gathering at a protest demanding change or imagining a hope we have being realized.可以通过例如在宗教仪式中唱歌,在抗议中集会,要求改变或想象我们已经实现的希望等方式找到这种喜悦。

In the midst of a year in which it is not difficult to stumble onto suffering, the good news is that we can also stumble onto joy.在一年中不难发现苦难的中期,好消息是我们也可以发现喜悦。 There is no imprisoned mind, heartbreaking time or deafening silence that joy cannot break through.没有牢牢的头脑,令人心碎的时间或震耳欲聋的沉默,而喜悦是无法突破的。

欢乐总能找到你。

关于作者

 

实践神学助理教授Angela Gorrell, 乔治·H·特鲁特神学院。 George H. Truett神学院是神学院联合会的成员。谈话 ATS是The Conversation US的资金合作伙伴。

本文重新发表 谈话 根据知识共享许可。 阅读 原创文章.

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