怨恨:潜伏在我们心灵阴影中的沸腾的怪物

怨恨:潜伏在我们心灵阴影中的沸腾的怪物

这是空气。
打开心轮。
消除愤怒和怨恨,痛苦,
嫉妒,嫉妒,仇恨和愤怒。

愤怒的危险不在于我们拥有,而在于我们可能不会选择释放它。 愤怒和怨恨似乎是一样的。 我们怀疑和恐惧地愤怒。 我们创造关于我们经历的侮辱和伤害的故事。 怨恨成为我们自卑自卑的自以为是的退缩。

如果我们不注意,我们就会变得容易受到这些负面情绪扭曲的身体和精神的疾病的困扰。 背痛。 头痛。 隔离。 复仇。 甚至慢性和致命的疾病也归因于愤怒留下酿造时可能出现的生化紊乱。

怨恨会把我们的生活和我们身边的人们都夺走

愤怒不是敌人。 这标志着我们需要采取行动,或许正在摆脱不利于我们最大利益的事情,也许正在走向一个我们所抵制的变革。 愤怒本身就是一种健康的情感。 另一方面,怨恨有能力吸引我们和周围人民的生命。

“resent”这个词来源于一个拉丁语前体,字面意思是“重新感受”。 当我们怨恨某人或某事时,我们实际上正重新感受到以前的痛苦和失望; 我们生活在过去。 不幸的是,我们也在冲击着现在,为未来的问题着想。

为了讨论的目的,我通过混合来自两个字典来源的条目创建了一个对怨恨的工作定义: 怨恨是由于真实的或者想象中的错误,侮辱或者伤害而引起的愤慨或者持续的不良情绪。 这种怨恨的关键词对我来说是“持续”和“想象”的。 这是关键,真的。

为了进入怨恨的大肠,你必须坚持一个可以感觉到的伤害,并用你的言行声明,你不会被震撼。 这样做,你抓住了一些绝对不受欢迎的东西。 这是一个危险的地方。 充其量,你将远离一个曾经造成真实或想象的伤害的人; 在最坏的情况下,你为自己不断增长的人们提供了一个不断增长的名单,你觉得有理由切断你的爱和你的生活。


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发现和揭露怨恨

我们如何保持我们的想象力,以创造持久的病态意志? 怨恨可能是一个沸腾的怪物,每天早晨都会从镜子中看到我们的意识。 但是我觉得更多的是在更深的层面上存在,潜伏在我们心中的阴影之下。 持续不断的病痛的小旋律将等待被释放威胁我们的关系和我们自己的福祉。

当我写这本书时,让我分享一下关于“找到”怨恨的故事。 没有详细说明,我开始意识到几个地方的例子,我怀着坚持不懈的意志,对我的人造成了真实或想象的伤害。 我注意到有时候这个人或那个人的名字或想法会带出几个与我的伤感有关的句子。 一般来说,在那里也会有一两个倒钩。

我们正计划在法国的小屋举办一个活动。 我们创建了一个客人名单。 几年前,我和名单上的一个人轻微碰了一下。 我可以感觉到我想要考虑不要求那个人参与。 我可以感觉到自己准备对抗。 三年后我可能会感到不适。 我意识到一种真实或想象中的人身伤害,坐在那里,在地表之下,就像在北海寒冷的海底搁浅的格兰扁山脉的一块古老的岩石。 三年后,这里又回到了岸边,不计其数。

让我自己知道法国局势正在发生的事情,使我更加意识到其他情况下,我对别人持有什么东西。 其中有一位父母,一位前伴侣,一位姐姐和一位朋友。 相反的可能性,你不觉得吗? 没什么恶毒 一些没有什么大不了的事情,但是一个收藏品正在酝酿,一群过去的行为正在我的现在“重新感受到”。

为什么我们要坚持有害的话语或行动?

为什么这样做呢? 为什么我们要坚持别人可能发出的有害言词或行为呢? 关系结束。 为什么我们坚持苦涩的一点? 一位家长说有些伤害。 我们为什么让它在我们里面找到方向? 一位朋友在我们需要的时候离开了。 一个陌生人使我们难堪。 怎样才能使我坚守过去的罪行?

我相信在我们生命的早期,在我们能够照顾自己之前,怨恨可能是我们自我保护的行为。 如果某人是“卑鄙的”或“有害的”,我们学会了将自己关闭,或者避开他作为保护自己的手段。 如果有人一次又一次地让我们失望,我们就停下来。 这是有道理的,当你四,八岁。

但是,当我们成长为充满活力的成年人时,保护自己不会因伤害我们的人而“离开”自己。 这种自我保护的回应现在表明我们无力或不愿意在爱与同情心中向他人敞开心扉,充分进入我们自己的力量,变得脆弱和真实,释放受害者的心态,并采取一种姿态扎根和负责任的成年人。 是的,只有八个是有利的。

来处理你的怨恨清单

<p><img title="Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our Heart" src="images/2014/460x175/resentment.jpg" alt="Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our Heart" /></p> <p>by Susan L. Westbrook, PhD. The danger with anger is not that we have it, but that we may not choose to release it. We feed anger with our doubts and fears. We create stories about the insult and injury we experienced. The resentment becomes a self-righteous retreat for our own feelings of smallness and inferiority.</p> <hr id="system-readmore" /> <p><img style="margin: 1px; border: 1px solid #000000; vertical-align: top;" title="Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our Heart" src="images/2014/460x175/resentment.jpg" alt="Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our Heart" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;" align="LEFT"><em>This is air.<br />Opening the heart chakra.<br />Blowing away anger and resentment, bitterness,<br />envy, jealousy, animosity, and rage.</em></p> <p align="LEFT">The danger with anger is not that we have it, but that we may not choose to release it. It seems to be the same with anger and resentment. We feed anger with our doubts and fears. We create stories about the insult and injury we experienced. The resentment becomes a self-righteous retreat for our own feelings of smallness and inferiority.</p> <p align="LEFT">If we are not mindful, we become prone to all the maladies of body and spirit that thrive in the twisters of these negative emotions. Sore backs. Headaches. Isolation. Vengeance. Even chronic and fatal diseases have been attributed to the biochemical disturbances that can manifest when anger is left to brew.</p> <h3 class="western">Resentment Can Suck the Life Out of Us & the People Around Us</h3> <p align="LEFT">Anger is not the enemy. It signals us that we need to be in action—perhaps moving away from something that is not in our best interest, perhaps moving toward a change that we are resisting. Anger, in and of itself, is a healthy emotion. Resentment, on the other hand, has the power to suck the life out of us and the people around us.</p> <p align="LEFT">The word "resent" is derived from a Latin precursor that meant, literally, to "re-feel." When we are resenting someone or something, we are actually re-feeling the hurts and pains and disappointments that have come before; we are living in the past. Unfortunately, we are also impacting the present and setting ourselves up for problems in the future.</p> <p align="LEFT">For the purpose of our discussion I created a working definition for resentment by blending entries from two dictionary sources: <em>Resentment is indignation or persistent ill will as a result of a real or imagined wrong, insult, or injury. </em>The key words in this rendering of resentment are, for me, "persistent" and "imagined." That is the crux of it, really.</p> <p align="LEFT">In order to enter into the bowels of resentment, you have to latch on to a perceived hurt and declare by your words and actions that you will not be shaken from your pole. In so doing, you grasp on to something absolutely undesirable. It is a dangerous place to be. At best you will distance yourself from one person who has inflicted a real or imagined hurt; at worst, you set yourself up for an ever-growing list of people you feel justified to cut off from your love and your life.</p> <h3 align="LEFT"><strong>Finding & Uncovering Resentment</strong></h3> <p align="LEFT">How do we keep our imaginations from creating situations of persistent ill will? Resentment can be a seething monster that stalks our consciousness and looks back at us from the mirror every morning. But I think it more frequently exists at a deeper level, under the surface, lurking in the shadows of our hearts. Little twisters of persistent ill will just waiting to be unleashed to threaten our relationships and our own well-being.</p> <p align="LEFT">Let me share my story about "find­ing" resentment as I was writing this book. Without going into too much detail, I began to be aware of several examples of places where I was harboring persistent ill will for real or imagined injuries to my person. I noticed that there were times when the name or thought of this person or that person would bring out several sentences related to my hurt feelings. Generally, there would be a barb or two back at them in there, too.</p> <p align="LEFT">We were planning an event at The Lodge in France. We had created a guest list. A few years earlier, I had had a slight run in with one of the people on the list. I could feel my desire to consider not asking that person to participate. I could feel myself prepping for a confrontation. I could feel ill will three years later. I was aware of a sense of real or imagined personal injury sitting in there, under the surface, like an ancient rock from the Grampian Mountains resting at the bottom of the cold North Sea. Three years later, here it comes rolling back onto the shore to be reckoned with.</p> <p align="LEFT">Opening myself to what was happening in the situation in France made me hyper-aware of other situations where I was holding something against someone else. Among the lot were a parent, a former partner, a sister, and a friend. Rather the gamut of possibilities, don't you think? Nothing vicious; some no big deal—but a collection was brewing, a group of people whose past deeds were being "re-felt" in my present.</p> <h3 class="western">Why Do We Hold On To Hurtful Words or Actions?</h3> <p align="LEFT">Why do we do it? Why do we want to hold on to the hurtful words or actions that others might send our way? A relationship ends. Why do we cling to the bitter bits? A parent says something hurtful. Why do we let that find its way inside of us? A friend steps away in our time of need. A stranger embarrasses us. How can it possibly serve me to hold on to past offenses?</p> <p align="LEFT">I believe that early in our lives resentment may have been a self-protective behavior we developed before we were able to take care of ourselves. If someone was "mean" or "hurtful," we learned to shut ourselves off from her or avoid him as a means of protecting ourselves. If someone disappointed us time and time again, we stopped depending on her. It makes sense ... when you are four or eight years old.</p> <p align="LEFT">But protecting ourselves by "going away" from the people who hurt us is not such a sensible behavior when we are fully grown, functioning adults. That self-protective response is now a sign of our inability or unwillingness to open our hearts to others in love and compassion, to step fully into our own power, to be vulnerable and authentic, to release the victim mentality and assume the posture of a grounded and responsible grownup. Yes, there are some advantages to being just eight.</p> <h3 align="LEFT">Coming To Grips With Your List of Resentments</h3> <p align="LEFT"><img style="margin: 7px; border: 1px solid #000000; float: left;" title="Resentment: A Seething Monster that Lurks in the Shadows of Our Heart" src="images/2014/460x175/resentment.jpg" alt="resentment" width="460" height="175" />Do you have a list, too? Maybe I should start by asking if you are hiding from the list, too. It is difficult to face both the wounds that have been rendered and the people who have allegedly inflicted them. We need to look deeply at these things when they first occur. But it just feels easier—and safer—to walk away, to hide out, to isolate, and to let the little splinters of hurt and disappointment fester out of sight.</p> <p align="LEFT">As I came to grips with my own list, I noticed that I had certain "tells" that would signal me that I had gone to that place of holding ill will. First, I became aware that I could not make eye contact. I am generally a look-you-in-the-eye­and-shake-your-hand kind of person. I assume I avoid the eyes of the other person because I either do not want her to see the hurt or disappointment in me or I do not want to see the Divine in him. I look away or down or to the side rather than taking the object of my resentment in by the seat of the soul.</p> <p align="LEFT">Second, I distance physically. I will not choose to have a conversation with him. I prefer not to sit next to her. I want a physical distance to create a buffer between the person and what I am holding back. Withdrawing my emotional con­nection, my physical presence, and my affection are ways of cutting myself off and not having to deal with what I am feeling.</p> <h3 align="LEFT"><strong>Exploring Resentment & Moving On<br /></strong></h3> <p align="LEFT">Whew! There is a lot on the table right now If you know that there are resent­ments brewing inside you, you might be feeling overwhelmed, and if you are in­sisting there are no resentments brewing inside you, you might be thinking you need to move on to a different chapter.</p> <p align="LEFT">This is a great time to become very familiar with the mantra for the Second Tibetan: <em>This is air. Opening the heart chakra. Blowing away anger and resentment, bitterness, envy, jealousy, animosity, and rage. Creating space for love and compassion, forgiveness and vulnerability, acceptance and peace.</em></p> <p align="LEFT">Air has the capacity to seep into places that are shut off. Think of how difficult it is to create an air-tight house in the winter. Air also invigorates and brings freshness. Air, by its very nature as a gas, is expansive. It is more than fluid. It can be everywhere at once. Air is susceptible to the laws of diffusion and will always move from a place where there is more of it to a place where there is less.</p> <p align="LEFT">Visualize your heart and chest being full of air, opening as the expansiveness of the gas takes up more and more space. What needs to be pushed out? Let those things go as you breathe out.</p> <p align="LEFT">In each case, be mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Is there anger? Hurt? Sad­ness? Are the tears making their way to the corners of your eyes? Can you breathe easily or is the breath stiff and ragged? You do not need to do anything with these observations. Notice. Move on.</p> <h3 align="LEFT">Releasing The Death and Destruction Resentment Can Bring Into Your Heart</h3> <p align="LEFT">I invite you to rest in Corpse Pose. Corpse is an apt name for what can occur in your life and relationships if you do not release the death and destruction resentment can bring into your heart. It is also a picture of giving up those persistently held hurts and hard feelings. Let them die. Allow them to make their way back into the earth and become compost to feed the thoughts and actions of a higher calling.</p> <p align="LEFT">As you take complete breaths, visualize a warm breeze blowing over your body—the kind of breeze you might feel when you are lying on the beach, sun shining down on your face, perhaps a little damp from taking a swim. As you re­main in Corpse Pose, let that movement of air over your body take the resentment and held hurts in its delicate tendrils and carry them away.</p> <p align="LEFT">As the breeze moves over you, think or say aloud the names and events you are holding, acknowledg­ing that they are keeping you small and unable to move freely and confidently in your world. As the breeze makes each pass, keep releasing those names and specific events until no more surface. Take a moment to deeply breathe and feel the air expand your heart, opening you to compassion and forgiveness. Feel the lightness the release has brought. Take a moment to offer gratitude for the people and situ­ations you have named.</p> <p style="text-align: right;"><em>©2014 by Susan L. Westbrook, PhD. All Rights Reserved.</em><br /><em>Reprinted with permission of the publisher, </em><br /><em>Findhorn Press. <a href="http://www.findhornpress.com" target="_blank">www.findhornpress.com.</a> </em></p> <hr /> <p>This article was adapted with permission from the book:</p> <p><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/184409197X/innerselfmaga-20" target="_blank">The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop: Tone Your Body and Transform Your Life </a><br />by Susan Westbrook, PhD<br /></strong></p> <p><em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/184409197X/innerselfmaga-20" target="_blank"><img style="margin: 1px 7px 1px 1px; border: 1px solid #000000; float: left;" title="The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop: Tone Your Body and Transform Your Life " src="images/2014/covers/184409197X.jpg" alt="The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop: Tone Your Body and Transform Your Life " width="67" height="100" /></a>The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop</em>  helps the reader to facilitate the inner work with the powerful combination of the body-strengthening daily practice of the legendary yoga-like poses known as the “5 Tibetans” along with spirit-nourishing stories and metaphors born of seas and rainbows and mountain vistas. As you move through the pages and activities of the book you will discover for yourself the positive effects of performing the rites that have been touted as the “ancient secret of the fountain of youth.” Susan Westbrook will gently encourage you to look inward at what she refers to as the “grasping behaviors” that are not serving you and will help you take on thoughts and actions (the healing behaviors) that can facilitate your healing and growth.</p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/184409197X/innerselfmaga-20" target="_blank">Click here for more Info and/or to Order this book</a>.</p> <hr /> <h3 align="center">About the Author</h3> <p><img style="margin: 1px 7px 1px 1px; border: 1px solid #000000; float: left;" title="Susan Westbrook, author of: The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop" src="images/2014/authors/westbrook_susan.jpg" alt="Susan Westbrook, author of: The Five Tibetans Yoga Workshop" />At the age of 50, after more than 25 years as an educator, University Professor, and school developer and director, Susan Westbrook took a leap out of the mainstream to become a high ropes facilitator, life coach, and Reiki Master/Teacher. A consummate teacher, storyteller, and spiritual wanderer, Susan is passionate about helping you go bravely into the dark corners of your inner life so you can begin healing the old wounds that are stealing the peace, joy, and abundance you were created to have. Visit her website at <a href="http://susanwestbrook.com/">http://susanwestbrook.com/</a></p> <hr />你也有清单吗? 也许我应该先问问你是否也躲在名单之外。 面对已经造成的伤害和据称造成他们的人是很难的。 当这些事情发生时,我们需要深入地看待这些事情。 但是,走开,躲藏,孤立,让伤心和失望的小碎片变得不可见,这种感觉更容易也更安全。

当我开始处理自己的名单时,我注意到,我有一定的“告诉”,这将表明我已经去了那个抱怨的地方。 首先,我意识到我无法与目光接触。 我通常是一个看上去像你一样的人。 我假设我避开了对方的眼睛,因为我不希望她看到我的伤害或失望,或者我不想看到他的神圣。 我把目光转移到旁边,而不是把自己的怨恨的目标放在心灵的座位上。

其次,我距离身体。 我不会选择和他谈话。 我不想坐在她旁边。 我想要一个物理距离来创建一个人与我所阻挡的缓冲区。 抽出我的情感联系,我的身体和我的感情是切断自己的方法,而不必处理我的感受。

探索怨恨和继续前进

呼! 现在桌子上有很多如果你知道里面有怨恨,你可能会感到不知所措,如果你坚持没有内心的怨恨,你可能会认为你需要转向不同的章节。

这是一个非常熟悉二藏的口号的好时机: 这是空气。 打开心轮。 消除愤怒和怨恨,痛苦,嫉妒,嫉妒,仇恨和愤怒。 为爱与同情,宽恕与脆弱,接受与和平创造空间。

空气有能力渗透到被关闭的地方。 想想在冬天创建一个密封的房子是多么的困难。 空气也鼓舞并带来新鲜感。 空气本身就是一种天然气,是膨胀的。 这不仅仅是流动性。 它可以在任何地方。 空气容易受到扩散的规律影响,并且总是从一个更多的地方移动到一个更少的地方。

想象你的心胸充满空气,随着气体的膨胀占据越来越大的空间开放。 什么需要推出? 让这些事情随着你呼气而去。

在每种情况下,请注意您的想法和感受。 有愤怒吗? 伤害? 悲情? 泪水流向眼角吗? 你可以轻松呼吸还是呼吸僵硬和衣衫褴褛? 这些观察你不需要做任何事情。 注意。 继续。

释放死亡和毁灭的怨恨可以带入你的心

我邀请你去尸体姿势休息。 尸体是一个恰当的名字,可以发生在你的生活和人际关系,如果你不释放死亡和破坏怨恨可以带入你的心。 这也是放弃那些持续不断的伤害和难过的感情的图景。 让他们死亡。 让他们回到地球上,成为堆肥,为更高的召唤提供思想和行动。

当你完全呼吸时,想象一股吹过你身体的温暖的微风 - 当你躺在沙滩上时你会感觉到的那种微风,阳光照射在你的脸上,或许是因为游泳而有点潮湿。 当你停留在尸体姿态时,让空气在你的身体上的运动带来怨恨,并在其细腻的卷须中受到伤害,并把它们带走。

当微风在你身上移动时,想想或者大声说出你所持有的名字和事件,承认它们让你变小,无法自由地和自信地在你的世界中移动。 随着微风的传递,不断发布这些名字和具体事件,直到没有更多的表面。 花一点时间深呼吸,感受空气扩张你的心,打开你的同情和宽恕。 感受释放带来的轻松。 花一点时间来感谢你所指定的人和情况。

©2014 Susan L. Westbrook,博士。 版权所有。
转载出版者许可,
芬德霍恩出版社。 www.findhornpress.com。

文章来源

西藏五大瑜伽工作坊:调理你的身体,改变你的人生
Susan Westbrook博士.

西藏五大瑜伽工作坊:调理你的身体,改变你的人生当你阅读本书的各个页面和活动时,你会发现,这些被称为“青春之泉的古老秘密”的仪式的积极效果。

点击这里获取更多的信息和/或订购这本书.

关于作者

西藏五人瑜伽研讨会的作者苏珊·威斯布鲁克(Susan Westbrook)在50时代,作为教育家,大学教授,学校开发人员和导演,Susan Westbrook超过了25年,他从主流跃升为高索引导者,生活教练和灵气师/老师。 苏珊热衷于帮助你勇敢地走进你内心深处的黑暗角落,这样你就可以开始治愈那些正在偷走你所创造的和平,快乐和丰富的旧伤。 访问她的网站 http://susanwestbrook.com/

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