性感的心态如何让合作伙伴看起来更热

: By 桑德拉·肯尼斯佩尔（Sandra Knispel）

感谢造访 InnerSelf.com，哪里有 20,000+ 宣传“新态度和新可能性”的改变生活的文章。所有文章均翻译为 30多种语言. 订阅每周出版的《内在自我》杂志和玛丽·T·拉塞尔的《每日灵感》。 InnerSelf杂志 自 1985 年起出版。

哈里·里斯说：“性感情不仅仅是激励我们寻找伴侣。这还使我们将感情投射到另一个人身上。”（来源：盖蒂图片社)

一项新的研究表明，如果我们拥有科学家所说的“性感的心态”，那么可能的恋爱伴侣会更具吸引力。

研究人员报告说，在相同条件下，我们也往往高估了自己获得浪漫成功的机会。

研究人员研究了如果一个人的性系统通过将测试对象暴露于短暂的性暗示中来激发“性感的心态”，从而激活“思考”。

团队发现，这样的心态减轻了人们对被拒绝的担忧，同时引发了建立浪漫关系的紧迫感。

研究人员还注意到，当谈到潜在的伴侣时，人们常常过分乐观，他们自己有机会约会。

“性感的心态”和身体吸引力

的新研究 [社会及个人的关系 sought to explain the biased perception.试图解释这种偏见。 It's precisely this bias, the team concludes, that may provide people with the necessary confidence to worry less about rejection and instead motivate them to take a leap of faith to pursue a desired romantic relationship without hesitation.团队总结说，正是这种偏见可以为人们提供必要的信心，使他们不必担心被拒绝，而会激发他们飞跃信念，毫不犹豫地追求理想的浪漫关系。

以色列跨学科中心（IDC）赫兹里亚的社会心理学家，心理学副教授古里特·伯恩鲍姆（Gurit Birnbaum）说：“人们更容易渴望潜在的伴侣，并在性刺激时将他们的欲望投射到他们身上。”

“我们的研究结果表明，性系统通过激发人与人之间的联系方式来偏向人际观念，从而为建立关系奠定了基础。 Clearly the sexual system does so by inspiring interest in potential partners, which, in turn, biases the perceptions of a potential partner's interest in oneself.”显然，性系统通过激发对潜在伴侣的兴趣来做到这一点，这反过来又使人们对潜在伴侣对自己的兴趣的看法产生偏见。”

Having evolved over millennia, the sexual behavioral system of humans ensures reproduction and survival of the species by arousing sexual urges that motivate us to pursue mates.经过数千年的发展，人类的性行为系统通过激发促使我们追求伴侣的性冲动，确保了物种的繁殖和生存。 Success depends on targeting the right potential partners who are not only perceived as desirable but also as likely to reciprocate our advances.成功取决于瞄准合适的潜在合作伙伴，这些合作伙伴不仅被认为是可取的，而且也有可能使我们取得进步。 In previous studies the researchers found that people often refrain from courting desirable possible partners because they fear rejection.在以前的研究中，研究人员发现人们常常因为寻求拒绝而拒绝求爱对方。

“形成稳定的性相互关联的价值观运营。罗切斯特大学心理学教授合着哈里·里斯（Harry Reis）说，它具有并且将继续具有很大的进化意义。

“性吸引的主要目的之一是激励人们与潜在的有价值和有价值的伴侣建立关系。”

三个实验

Across three experiments the team discovered that sexual activation helps people initiate relationships by inducing them to project their own desires onto prospective partners.在三个实验中，研究小组发现，性激活可以促使人们将自己的欲望投射到潜在伴侣上，从而帮助人们建立关系。 In other words—you see what you want to see if you've been sexually primed.换句话说，如果您已经受到性刺激，就会看到想要看到的东西。

To test the effects of a sexy mindset, the team exposed participants across three separate studies either to sexual (but not pornographic) stimuli or to neutral stimuli.为了测试一种性感的心态的影响，研究小组将参加三项独立研究的参与者暴露于性（而非色情）刺激或中性刺激中。 Next, the participants encountered a potential partner and rated this partner's attractiveness and romantic interest in them.接下来，参与者遇到了一个潜在的伴侣，并对该伴侣的吸引力和浪漫兴趣进行了评估。 Participants' interest in the partner was self-reported or evaluated by raters.参与者对合作伙伴的兴趣由评估者自我报告或评估。

In the first study, 112 heterosexual participants, aged 20 to 32, who were not in a romantic relationship, were randomly paired with an unacquainted participant of the other sex.在第一项研究中，将XNUMX名年龄在XNUMX至XNUMX岁之间，没有恋爱关系的异性恋参与者与另一名陌生的参与者随机配对。 First, participants introduced themselves to each other by talking about their hobbies, positive traits, and future career plans while being videotaped.首先，参加者在录像时谈论自己的爱好，积极特质和未来的职业计划，从而互相介绍自己。 Then the team coded the videotaped introductions for nonverbal expressions of so-called immediacy behavior—such as close physical proximity, frequent eye contact, and flashing smiles—that indicates interest in initiating romantic relationships.然后，该小组对录像带的介绍进行了编码，以表达所谓的即时行为的非言语表达，例如亲密的身体近距离接触，频繁的眼神交流和闪烁的笑容，这表明他们有兴趣建立浪漫的关系。

他们发现，暴露于性刺激的参与者（与暴露于中性刺激的参与者相比）对潜在伴侣表现出更直接的行为，并认为伴侣对他们更具吸引力和兴趣。

For the second study, 150 heterosexual participants, aged 19 to 30, who were not in a romantic relationship, served as a control for the potential partner's attractiveness and reactions.在第二项研究中，有XNUMX位年龄在XNUMX至XNUMX岁之间，没有恋爱关系的异性恋参与者控制了潜在伴侣的吸引力和反应。 Here, all participants watched the same prerecorded video introduction of a potential partner of the other sex and then introduced themselves to the partner while being videotaped.在这里，所有参与者都观看了与另一位潜在伴侣相同的预先录制的视频介绍，然后在录制视频时向对方介绍了自己。 The team coded the videotapes for attempts to induce a favorable impression.小组对录像带进行了编码，以尝试引起良好的印象。

就像在第一项研究中一样，研究人员发现性系统的激活使参与者认为潜在的伴侣对浪漫关系更有吸引力并且也更感兴趣。

In the third study, the team investigated whether a participant's romantic interest in the other participant might explain why sexual activation affects perceptions of others' romantic interest in oneself.在第三项研究中，研究小组调查了一个参与者对另一个参与者的浪漫兴趣是否可以解释为什么性激活会影响他人对自己的浪漫兴趣的看法。 Here, 120 heterosexual participants, aged 21 to 31, who were not in a romantic relationship, interacted online with another participant, who in reality was an attractive opposite-sex member of the research team, in a get-to-know-each-other conversation.在这里，有XNUMX名年龄在XNUMX至XNUMX岁之间，没有恋爱关系的异性恋参与者与另一名参与者在线互动，而后者实际上是研究团队中一个有吸引力的异性恋者，每个参与者都必须了解。其他对话。

The participants rated their romantic interest in the other person as well as that person's attractiveness and interest in them.参与者对他们对另一个人的浪漫兴趣以及该人对他们的吸引力和兴趣进行了评分。 They found again that sexual activation increased a participant's romantic interest in the other participant, which, in turn, predicted perceiving the other as more interested in oneself.他们再次发现，性激活增加了参与者对另一参与者的浪漫兴趣，这反过来又预示着感知到对方对自己更感兴趣。 Having active sexual thoughts apparently arouses romantic interest in a prospective partner and encourages the adoption of an optimistic outlook on courting prospects with a partner, concluded the researchers.研究人员总结说，活跃的性思想显然引起了对潜在伴侣的浪漫兴趣，并鼓励人们对与伴侣的求婚前景持乐观态度。

“性感受不仅仅是激励我们去寻找伙伴。 “这项研究的一个重要发现是，性感觉不必来自其他人； they can be aroused in any number of ways that have nothing to do with the other person.”他们可以通过许多与他人无关的方式来唤起。”

然而，还有一个明显的潜在陷阱：当存在性感觉时，人们倾向于认为对方共享自己的吸引力，无论是否必要，Reis都指出。

伯恩鲍姆（Birnbaum）补充说：“否则，您最终会亲吻很多青蛙，因为性感的心情会让您误以为是王子。”

Birnbaum and Reis have spent the last few decades studying the dynamics of human sexual attraction.伯恩鲍姆（Birnbaum）和赖斯（Reis）在过去的几十年中一直在研究人类性吸引的动力学。 In a在一个 2019研究，两人发现，当人们更加确定潜在的浪漫伴侣会回报自己的兴趣时，他们将加大精力再次见到该人。 Furthermore, people will rate the possible date as more sexually attractive than they would if they were less certain about the prospective date's romantic intentions.此外，人们对可能约会的评价比对不确定未来约会的浪漫意图的约会更具吸引力。